Some ways you can better relate

• Learn to change what does not work

• If it can't change, Stand it

• Research by observation

• Don't make the same mistake twice

• Consult the expert... listen to yourself

Mindfulness

Mindfulness plays a significant part in a counselling process
where I ask you to participate toward discovering different
ways of being in your world.
Mindfulness has varied meanings and my understanding of it is
from a Buddhist tradition after the time of Lao Tzu (circa Fifth Century BC).

Mindfulness involves nonbeing and nondoing which introduce and support the essence of nonviolence... being in the here-and-now... nonbeing denotes allowing the self to be in space free from judgment, free from influence, free from fear and shame and
free to embrace everything.

Nondoing indicates not interfering or to do only things that are meaningful and have significance in-the-moment. Nonviolence is the here-and-now, what is happening in this moment, being alert and relaxed at the same time. In some sense it has similarities with the "at peace" state people encounter after meditation.

The here-and-now or mindfulness concept allows therapist and client to honestly and bravely encounter issues that may be stumbling blocks in life transitions... life transitions we all face. How we handle these transitions is indicative of how well we know ourselves and perhaps how well we face our shortcomings or incorporate our shadow or dark side of our character.

Connecting
Connecting is an art and excelling in any artistic pursuit requires practice.  Practising meeting people will ensure you are an expert within a very short time.  Remember to not to take things personally.  I know this is a negative affirming requirement (one of the few I'll ever write, but it is a good way of receiving information from other people... their feedback always informs you of something. 

Scientists experiment over and over until they get it right.  They look upon each experiment that does not give them the results they expect or want as a successful experiment... informing them of one more way their desire is not fulfilled.  The foolish scientist continues the same experiment in the same way because the information has not been understood.

Solitude
The experience of solitude seems, on the surface, to be the opposite of learning how to relate.  Essentially, unless we have learned to relate with ourselves we will always have difficulties relating to others.  Being alone, experiencing solitude, can aid you in your quest to be in a better relationship... in better relationships.

Listening — Learning

• Listen to your partner

• Feedback what you have heard

• Let your partner let you know what they understand you have said...

These are perquisites to better relating. 

Are you ready for choosingchange counselling?